afterthoughts from Bombay, err Mumbai...Sorry Bhaiya...I mean Boss!
notes to myself: WHAT NOT TO DO IN BOMBAY
- plan a trip to coincide (yet again) with Shiv Sena's annual tryst with Biharis
- repeatedly use the words "Bombay baby!" during this same week
- refuse to give up on 'Bhaiya'...who the hell says 'Boss'?
- loudly rejoice when auto drivers ask you to ‘tell’ and not ‘ask’ if they’re willing to go to a location. (eery few moments of blank stares follow if you do the latter)
- "meter? you couldn't be serious? you have meters that work?"
- ask town people to come to Bandra. they dont.
- ask Bandra people to come to town. they wont.
- set out to prove to your Bombay friends that Dilli walla's can rough the local train. (Goregaon to Lower Parel is no walk in the park)
- in your excitement of 'slumming it out', forget to look at the compartment sign. A Rs 250 fine for a mistaken ride in the First class coach follows. sweet.
- try and argue that Delhi is more than Pummy Malhotra, Lovely Chaddha and their kitty parties. no one listens.
- use the "its really dangerous to talk to women in Delhi bars" excuse for being single.
- attempt an 'all you can eat’ street food fest at Bandstand. Pudin Hara will not help you after a bombay sandwich, vada paav and bhel puri agenda.
- deeply introspect why women in Bombay understand the mantra of 'flats, anklets and nose rings' and why enough women in Delhi don't.
- question (on location) how a seemingly loud sindhi called 'Totlani' (now come on) could run a place like Toto's. Also to remember to stare back at him when he eyes you suspiciously in his dark glasses and red/golden floral shirt.
- visit Prithvi cafe and resist the urge to overhear table conversations
- grow a goatee. (80% of the guys had one. at-least i cut my hair).
- try searching for the exact set of fake concrete rocks on marine drive that you saw in the Munnabhai sequel
- eat at a place called ‘Stomach’
- spend an entire morning reading the 20+ pages of a very informative Mumbai Times
- make jokes about traveling distances. people are touchy
- proudly proclaim your desire to rent a one bedroom, hall kitchen with an attached bathroom and pay off your loan. triggers a laugh riot.
- plan a trip to coincide (yet again) with Shiv Sena's annual tryst with Biharis
- repeatedly use the words "Bombay baby!" during this same week
- refuse to give up on 'Bhaiya'...who the hell says 'Boss'?
- loudly rejoice when auto drivers ask you to ‘tell’ and not ‘ask’ if they’re willing to go to a location. (eery few moments of blank stares follow if you do the latter)
- "meter? you couldn't be serious? you have meters that work?"
- ask town people to come to Bandra. they dont.
- ask Bandra people to come to town. they wont.
- set out to prove to your Bombay friends that Dilli walla's can rough the local train. (Goregaon to Lower Parel is no walk in the park)
- in your excitement of 'slumming it out', forget to look at the compartment sign. A Rs 250 fine for a mistaken ride in the First class coach follows. sweet.
- try and argue that Delhi is more than Pummy Malhotra, Lovely Chaddha and their kitty parties. no one listens.
- use the "its really dangerous to talk to women in Delhi bars" excuse for being single.
- attempt an 'all you can eat’ street food fest at Bandstand. Pudin Hara will not help you after a bombay sandwich, vada paav and bhel puri agenda.
- deeply introspect why women in Bombay understand the mantra of 'flats, anklets and nose rings' and why enough women in Delhi don't.
- question (on location) how a seemingly loud sindhi called 'Totlani' (now come on) could run a place like Toto's. Also to remember to stare back at him when he eyes you suspiciously in his dark glasses and red/golden floral shirt.
- visit Prithvi cafe and resist the urge to overhear table conversations
- grow a goatee. (80% of the guys had one. at-least i cut my hair).
- try searching for the exact set of fake concrete rocks on marine drive that you saw in the Munnabhai sequel
- eat at a place called ‘Stomach’
- spend an entire morning reading the 20+ pages of a very informative Mumbai Times
- make jokes about traveling distances. people are touchy
- proudly proclaim your desire to rent a one bedroom, hall kitchen with an attached bathroom and pay off your loan. triggers a laugh riot.
posted by yudi at 10:51 PM
1 Comments:
I am the first one to comment!
Dude, this is brilliant! You touched a few chords here!
Very Very Well Written! Great Job!
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